I Hate You So Much
by didsomeonesayventus
Summary: "Roxas felt numb at the thought that he didn't have ANYTHING to call his own anymore." oneshot prediction of Roxas's reaction to Ventus.


Roxas stared at the precious sight in front of him. Books. Several. He'd seen them before at the library back at The Castle That Never Was, but he wasn't allowed to touch them without explicit permission. He never even knew there was a library until awhile after things with Xion and Axel started to get rocky.

He felt Sora pat his back "Yen Sid says we're free to read 'em whenever we want."

"Really? You can do that?" Roxas asked, turning to his Other. Boy was he greatful to be a half of someone whos was so... nice. Really there wasn't any other word for it.

Sora lifted his eyebrow questioningly "Um, yeah... what, have you never read anything before?"

Roxas shrugged a little, feeling embarrassed.

Sora smiled a little sympathetically, then scanned a few titles. He pulled down one and held it out to Roxas "Riku says this is a really good one-" he paused at the dark flicker on Roxas's face at the mention of his friend, then put it back "Or maybe not..." He then lit up at one title and grabbed it unhesitantly "I read this when I first came here and had some free time to wind down before resuming business." they both understood that business meant basically saving the universe, but didn't comment. Sora plopped the well loved book in Roxas's hands "I think you'd like it."

He then headed off to the Highwind again "I know I said we'd hang out once you were you again, but I gotta go pick up someone else. I'll see you in a little bit, Roxas, okay?"

Roxas didn't respond, already plopped down in a chair and eagerly reading. He sat like that for awhile, soaking in the words and wondering why he didn't just pick up a book regardless of orders back when he was in the Organization. Reading was something refreshing and lovely after such a hellish year of existence. After what seemed like a short time, Roxas heard the whirring of the Highwind again.

He smiled and finished up, then put the book back tenderly and jumped to the window. Yep, Sora had parked it and was already inside. He heard the door creaking open with Sora's voice echoing in. Roxas rushed over "Hey Sora what's-" he stopped, finishing weakly "up..."

Sora looked a little worse- there was a slump to him now, a slight paling of his skin, his eyes weren't quite as vibrant, and his smile seemed a little more forced -but that wasn't what bothered Roxas. What bothered him was the boy who Sora had an arm around.

He looked- and sounded, judging by the tender croons of "Hey, take it easy, don't overexert yourself" -just like Roxas. He had a few REALLY small differences- a higher lilt in his voice, brighter hair and eyes, healthier skin tone -but otherwise they were identical twins. Roxas felt numb at the thought that he didn't have ANYTHING to call his own anymore.

The two walked- no, shuffled -by him, the twin completely ignoring his presence and Sora muttering only a small "hey."

Roxas held up his hands and stared at them. He felt his eyes tearing up, his stomach boiling and clenching. Why did this hurt? Why? He looked back over his shoulder at Sora and his twin- Sora was hunched over, looking immensely burdened or tired (Roxas couldn't tell which) while this Roxas look-alike rubbed his back. They made eye contact for a second, then the doppelganger resumed soothing Sora with a small shrug. Roxas felt jealousy running rampant through him- Sora was HIS. His and his ALONE.

He turned back to his hands, turning them into fists and shutting his eyes tight. Everything about him was burning, and his ears were becoming lost in white noise.

"Roxas, YOU'RE you, we're not the same..."

Perhaps that was why he was so upset. Sora had believed in him. Sora had held him up to a standard most didn't- and never would, really. Sora told him something NO ONE in his entire life had ever said, let alone thought. Sora had felt his pain and understood him better than everyone.

But was it all just a lie? Was he just like the rest?

He couldn't be, he was just confused. Roxas wanted to yell at him "Hey idiot! You said you'd be hanging around with me!" but he just let out a choked sob. He quickly covered his mouth, hoping no one heard that. He noted tears were beginning to fall, and he quickly ran out. He slammed the door shut behind him and dashed down the steps, trying to hold his tears in until he got somewhere more private. He wasn't going to cry. He was NOT going to cry.

He couldn't anyways, right? He still didn't believe how Sora said that he had a heart. He was a Nobody, one half of a whole. He didn't have a heart, and growing one sounded preposterous.

He dashed out the front doors of the Mysterious Tower, and collapsed on the stairs. He couldn't run anymore, he was too winded. He then curled up and began bawling, and he bit into his jacket collar to stifle the sound. No, he wasn't going to believe it, but the truth was staring him right in his face. Sora had given up on him, Sora had ABANDONED him. It hurt a lot more than everything else Roxas had experienced so far.

"Are you... okay?"

Roxas jumped at the sound of his own voice, and managed to flip himself onto the grass beyond the steps while summoning his Keyblade.

There he was again. "What are you doing here?" Roxas growled at him. Roxas felt himself scowl more at the sight of how even their clothes were similar. The boy frowned "I'm checking up on you, what do you think I'm-"

"SHUT UP!" Roxas sliced at the air with his Keyblade "JUST SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

The boy looked even more worried, and his eyes were brimming with tears "Hey I just wanna-"

"I DON'T CARE!"

The look-alike started crying, but he wiped up the tears quickly with his jacket and said calmly "Hey, you should calm down-"

Roxas marched up to him and grabbed him by the straps across his chest "I WAS PERFECTLY CALM AND HAPPY UNTIL YOU CAME ALONG AND... and..." He bowed his head a little, unable to continue with any words. After a sob or two he whispered "Until you took him away..."

It only angered him more that he showed this low-life such a side to him, and he pushed him away quite dangerously down the steps- he honestly didn't care if he got hurt or not "Just do me a favor and get lost!"

He heard a small grunt and thump, but frowned when he realized the boy had landed on grass. He then paused when he heard him ask "D-don't you have one? A heart?"

Roxas turned back slowly, eyes narrowed in a death glare. "Excuse me?" his voice was a low hiss.

The boy had tears leaking down his face, but he asked again with a determined look "Don't you have a heart?"

Roxas laughed mockingly "No, I have a spleen." he then roared at him again "ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?! I DON'T HAVE A HEART!" he sat there a moment, then lowered his head with his hands gripping at the place in his chest that he knew was aching, but empty "I don't... I don't have a heart." He then glared at his twin "And don't you dare let me catch you with Sora again or I swear I'm gonna make you so sore you're gonna feel it the rest of your life."

Roxas left him. He stomped up the stairs, trying to at least compose himself to a more normal grumpiness. He wiped up his tear tracks, and walked into Yen Sid's chamber to check up on Sora "Are you okay?"

Sora was slow to react, but when he lifted his head he smiled "Yeah, I'm good." he chuckled and bowed his head over again "My errand took out more than I thought it would."

Roxas easily detected a lying lilt, almost chuckling at how bad Sora was at the art "Something's wrong."

Sora shook his head "I'm fine, no need to worry." He then gave him a worried look "It didn't look like you took to Ven very well."

Roxas grew colder "So that's his name. Sounds dumb."

"It's actually Ventus, but he prefers Ven." Sora corrected him. Roxas rolled his eyes "Still dumb." Sora gave him a funny look "You sound like you really don't like him-"

"I hate him." Roxas cut Sora off. Sora flopped back into his seat- he still looked far too tired "Hate is a pretty strong word, bud-"

"I don't care." Roxas pulled his collar up more "I hate him."

Sora closed his eyes and sighed "I figured you'd be confused about the similarities-"

"I am, and YOU got some explanations to do."

Sora gripped his head suddenly, and he winced deeply He even let out a few soft gasps of pain. He then let his hands fall limply to his side. His eyes opened again, looking a lot more tired "Hey, could you just... tone it down? I got a real bad headache..." His eyes squinted shut in pain again, and he asked "Did you hurt him?"

"Who?"

Sora opened an eye and glared at Roxas "You know who."

"What if I did?"

Sora glared at him fully. Roxas looked away "What?"

"You aren't that different." Sora shook his head and sighed. Roxas then gave him a small punch on his shoulder "You still owe me some hang out time..."

Sora smiled at him apologetically "I know I said this afternoon, but... I'll have to call in a raincheck for the first time in awhile." He sank a little lower, his eyelids lowering and his whole expression sinking into a hurtful frown "I'm really not feeling so good..."

Roxas was satisfied with this answer if not slightly dejected, and curled up with his book again.

There was no way he was ever going to like this Ventus kid.

* * *

(MUCH ADVENTURING LATER~)

"Okay yeah never mind Ven you're really awesome. Sorry for yelling at you."

"No prob man, you were angry and confused."


End file.
